Master Chief has Dinner on Sanghelios
by filthycasualfan
Summary: Just a short one shot of a concept I found funny where Master Chief is invited to the Arbiter's keep after Halo 3 to improve diplomatic relations when he accidentally courts a female Sangheili.


The Master Chief sat at a dinner table in Vadam keep with the Arbiter and some of his clan members on personal invitation from the Arbiter himself. He was in his white dress uniform, but was allowed to wear his helmet, since it contained his translator. He caught his reflection in a pond on the walk in and realized how ridiculous he looked wearing a spartan helmet with his dress uniform. The Chief didn't want to accept the dinner invitation to begin with, but the higher ups at ONI thought it was the diplomatic thing to do in order to maintain good relations with the Arbiter.

John sat at the end of the long dinner table, opposite the Arbiter. Some of the Sangheili children brought out food to the table and placed their meals in front of them. The Arbiter stood up, his golden robes glimmering in the well lit room, made from what John imagined was the nicest material available on Sanghelios. "Thank you all for attending this meal. This is the next step for the Sangheili, now that the Covenant is no more," the Arbiter announced, raising his glass.

John spoke inside his helmet to Cortana, "Am I supposed to raise mine?" he asked.

"According to the little data we've gathered, the Arbiter will drink his entire glass and then everyone else follows," Cortana whispered inside his helmet.

The Master Chief did as he was told and poured the beverage into his helmet through the retractable mouth vents. One of the Sangheili females pointed toward a bowl of some strange meat on the table and John grabbed it and handed it to her.

"Chief, no!" Cortana shouted inside his helmet, but it was too late. The Sangheili female accepted the bowl and the Arbiter bellowed out a laugh filled with mirth.

"She accepted your mating offer Demon!" the Arbiter shouted and the rest of the Sangheili at the table joined in cheering and laughing.

"Cortana, what just happened?" John said into his helmet, the realization of what he just heard sinking in.

"That was a courting gesture, Chief. She accepted, so now you have no choice but to..." Cortana trailed off.

"If I don't?" John stubbornly retorted.

"You either have to mate with her or she will be insulted and an insult on Sanghelios ends in someone dying Chief. Her name is Kewe, she is one of the clan Elders. You are here to help relations, John."

John slowly stood up and followed Kewe to the bedroom, as the cheers from the dinner table faded away.

The bedroom was an empty room with an enormous bed in the center, capable of holding multiple adult Sangheili with room to spare. The floors were a light brown wood and the walls were pure white with the only decoration being a Vadam coat of arms. Kewe walked into the center of the room at the foot of the bed and dropped her bright red robes to the floor, leaving her completely nude.

John stared at her figure, which was slightly smaller than the average male Sangheili, but just as lean and muscular. His eyes wandered from her face down toward her nether region, where he couldn't help but stare. Her genitalia was looked the same as a Sangheili mouth, but without the teeth.

"Cortana...what the hell is that?" John whispered.

"I think you know what it is, Chief." Cortana replied bluntly.

"I hope Linda will forgive me for this," John mumbled, not bothering to hide how displeased he was with this situation.

"Well, she is pretty by Sangheili standards," Cortana chimed in trying to cheer him up.

"Come Demon, sit," Kewe commanded.

John did as he was told and Kewe began moving her body rhythmically. She was doing the Sangheili mating dance, but with the reversed knee joints of the Sangheili, it looked like a human having a seizure. Her knees kept bending and straightening, while her arms waved randomly all around her head.

"Is something wrong, human?" Kewe suddenly said.

"Mimic her John," Cortana barked the order into his ear.

"My legs don't bend that way, Cortana," John muttered as he stood up and tried to mimic the convulsions as best as he could.

Kewe let out a low purr at John's "dancing" and moved closer to him. She shoved him backwards onto the bed and ripped his dress uniform off in one rapid motion. She stared at his crotch and tilted her head.

"What's wrong with your nishum?" Kewe demanded, point at John's flaccid genitals.

"John you need to get it up," Cortana ordered. "I can stimulate that part of your brain through your helmet if you need me to," she said almost as an afterthought.

After a moment of hesitation, John replied curtly, "Do it."

Kewe laid herself on the bed with her legs crossed, staring at John.

"Cortana?" John mumbled inside his helmet.

"Hold on Chief, I'm searching. We don't have much data on Sangheili mating. Apparently, you are supposed to say something seductive to her before you can mate?" she said, clearly uncertain. "Try that Chief."

John straddled Kewe, who was laying on the bed and said "Have you ever been possessed?"

Kewe stared at him, unclear of what the human meant.

"Because you're about to have a Demon inside of you," John finished, embarrassed.

"Good one Chief," Cortana said mockingly.

Kewe spread her legs, her lower split mouth fully opening. John was horrified but began to do his duty. As soon as he began, he felt his crotch get clamped down on as Kewe made weird WOR WOR WOR noises loudly. She wrapped her legs and arms around him and squeezed him tightly to her chest. She put her mouth on John's face-shield and he could see the saliva from her split jaw spraying all over his helmet. Cortana continued to overstimulate him through his neural interface and the encounter ended as quickly as he could have hoped for.

He rolled off of her and they lay next to each other, both breathing heavily.

"You know human, we can tell if we are pregnant almost immediately after attempted fertilization," Kewe blurted out to John.

John's eyes bulged beneath his helmet at this comment. "What are you saying?" he responded after the shock wore off.

"I am fairly certain we just created the first Sangheili-Human. Sanghuman," Kewe said grinning with excitement. "What do you think we should name it?"

Without saying a word, the Master Chief jumped off of the bed into a full sprint toward the door without even stopping to put his clothes on. He sprinted through the dining area, blowing passed the Arbiter and his Sangheili relatives.

Kewe bursts out of the door a couple seconds later and screeched "Get him!" pointing angrily at John.

The entire dinner table began chasing the nude Master Chief. He continued his sprint for the Pelican without a backward glance at the group of Sangheili chasing him, ignited swords in hand. He stumbled up the ramp into the Pelican and slammed the door shut. The Pelican took off before the Sangheili were able to reach it.

"Cortana, can relay a message to Admiral Hood for me? Tell him the war isn't over," John said, exasperated.


End file.
